Hello there!

Hello to all my blog friends! I haven’t been on regularly because I have had so much going on in my life that by the time I sit down I’m ready to go to bed!

My dad is still in the ICU. He is slowly recovering and will be transferred to a rehab facility in the next couple of weeks. God keep showing me how good he is. He has gotten me through such hurdles in my life. When you think all is good then something else happens. At first I thought I was being punished for all the harsh things I have been saying in my post. I soon figured it out its not the case. God wouldn’t put me through all this . It just happened. Its a fluke. Who would of known that my dads AVM would rupture. He has been through so much. 4 surgeries and he is still alive. Its a miracle!

My Mom on the other hand is a complete mess. Her life as she knew it isn’t the same anymore. My Dad had alway’s catered to her every need. Now she has to ask other people for help & do things on her own. I do in a way feel bad for her however she still can be very abrupt and cruel. That hasn’t changed. I was mentally drained for the 2 weeks I was there and I still am in a way. I have to call her everyday for an update. It’s alway’s about her & how drained she is. Oh poor me routine. Let me give you an example. When she found out that their insurance doesn’t cover a lot of the cost for a rehab she was sick to her stomach she was telling my father while he was still in a coma please wake up your costing me $140.00 a day! Then she would laugh a little like it was funny and I would be standing there pissed. Its costing her money. Well it’s both of their money and who cares they have it. Who could say now a day’s if they had over $15,000. 00 in the bank. No one! Everytime she say’s it I just want to curse her out but I keep my mouth shut because I can’t have an opinion! Oh there is so much more! Well lets see she wouldn’t let me drive their car while I was there but she let her Secretary drive it anytime she wanted . My mom doesn’t drive so we would have to bring her to the hospital every day. I stayed at home with her for 2 weeks but she would have her secretary come over and pick us up & bring us to the hospital. Now does that make any sence? No not at all. but I kept my mouth shut ! Oh and here is the latest. Next weekend I am going down for 3 day’s to see my dad and my daughter is going with me. Well you should have heard what she said . She isn’t staying here is she ? I’m not comfortable having her stay here. I am too stressed out and I don’t want to have to caterto her. Blah Blah Blah. She went on & on about it so I had to ask my son if his sister could stay with him while we were there. I just couldn’t believe it! She didn’t want my daughter (her granddaughter) to stay in her house! I almost cancelled my trip but I had to keep saying to myself I’m going down to see my dad. She is something else!!!!!! It’s all about her!!!! She didn’t hear from me for 2 day’s and she called to ask why and I told her that I didn’t get home till late and I didn’t want to wake her.Which was true! Well she went on about how she thought I was upset with her and that her stomach was in knots. How she just couldn’t handle another thing and please don’t be made! Boho boho boho! She didn’t apologize though and she still wanted to make sure that I was coming down & that J(daughter) wasn’t staying there GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. Lord help me!!!!! While we were talking she asked what I was doing so I started telling her that I had just got done eating dinner & was getting ready to weed whack the front yard because it had gotten so bad because D(husband) & I have been busy working  and how we didn’t have time! She starts telling me  don’t complain to me about how you don’t have time. I don’t have any time. I have so much to do Blah Blah Blah blah! So I shut up again! Lord help me! I’ll tell you one thing I’m so glad that I have good meds. That is what is keeping me sane!!!

So that the latest & greatest news!

I’ll try to keep everyone posted more often!

Much Love

God Bless!

Published in: on July 28, 2010 at 2:40 pm  Comments (2)  
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Long overdue update!!

Well hello to all of you. God I missed writing on my blog and keeping in touch with all of you.I know many of you are probably wondering when I’ll get back to my life story. Well It will be soon. I have so much going on right now that I need to vent . So here goes!

4 weeks ago my Dad was sitting in front of the T.V. enjoying some ice cream when all the sudden his head started hurting. He complained to my mom and she knew that it was his AVM. It’s a form of vessels in the brain that he has had since he was born. He had minor surgery 30 years ago to help with his seizures. Well all hell broke loose and he had a severe brain bleed. The surgeon said if another hour had went by he wouldn’t be alive. The first hospital he was sent to couldn’t provide the care my dad needed so he was transferred to another hospital. He immediately went in for brain surgery in hopes to stop the bleeding and swelling in the brain. The surgeon told my mom that there was a good chance that he wouldn’t make it through. Well he did. and he has been fighting for his life ever since. My dad was in a coma for 2 1/2 weeks and is slowly coming around. He still has blood in the brain and swelling but it’s getting better. The doctor say’s ti’s going to be baby steps and they aren’t sure how much damage has been done . He will be in the hospital another week or 2 then he will be transferred to a rehabilitation facility where he will remain for a minimum of 120 day’s. Then if he hasn’t responded well then he will be put in a nursing home. It’s been a long haul for all of us.

So now it’s time for me to vent!

When this first happened my mom informed me that she didn’t want me there. I asked her why and she said that she just couldn’t handle taking care of me right now and worry about me. She said she had enough going on. I was very angry. I couldn’t believe it. She couldn’t handle me right now. OMG did she forget that I was an adult. She didn’t need to take care of me. I just wanted to be there for him but again it was all about her. Things never change.

So I waited & waited till she gave me the approval to come there. 2 weeks later I was on my way. I really thought things where going to be different but boy was I wrong. When I got to Long Island my son drove me right to the hospital. When i got to his room my mom was there and she said to me as soon as I walked in “DON”T TOUCH HIM” I was like OMG what is her problem and then she was like he can’t afford to get an infection. I was not allowed to touch, talk or cry for my dad. She told me she just couldn’t handle that right now. She has enough going on . I was soooooooo angry. Again all about her. So that was the first day. God did I dread the next 2 weeks. So every day was an emotional rollercoaster for me. One minute she was okay the next she would chastise me. Letting me know where my place was and where her’s was. She was in control of everything. I was not allowed to ask questions, talk to the doctors, voice any concerns. Pretty much nothing! When I did try to ask, voice or talk to the doctor’s my mom would quickly remind me that was her job not mine. So that was how I spent most of my day’s. She would use me as she pleased. Like she hates sleeping alone so guess who had to sleep with her in the bed? Yep me. My dad alway’s took very good care of her. She never had to lift a finger to do anything at home so guess who did that? Yep me!

Oh and the story goes on and on!

Till next time …

God Bless

Published in: on July 12, 2010 at 1:32 pm  Comments (4)  
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It’s been a long time! I’m back!

Yes it’s been a long time. I’m so sorry for not keeping all of you updated. There wasn’t any time for me to be able to get on the computer while I was there. I was at the hospital all day from 6:30 am – 5:00 pm by the time we got home we ate dinner and went right to bed. I will definitely tell you everything that has transpired from then till now however I just got back home and I’m mentally & physically exhausted!! Boy do I have a lot to say!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’ll make sure to fill you in as soon as I can!

Much Love  & God Bless

Published in: on July 8, 2010 at 3:20 pm  Comments (2)  
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